The Search Ninja

The other day I received (via email) the latest exciting information for the upcoming SMX (Search Marketing Expo). I’ve pasted a little screenshot of this gem below.

Notice anything “funny”? Hint: I’m not talking about “ha ha” funny.

I thought; “Could this be the latest and greatest example of fancy search marketing lingo?”

Convertion

mmmmm…. Notice how it just rolls off the tongue? Convertion. Imagine the possibilities:

“As you can see Mr. Smith, your Convertion rate is up 300%”

“Cost per conversion? You’re living in the stone-age. Let’s talk about Cost per Convertion.”

“Sorry baby, we just don’t Convertion anymore.”

However after clicking on the word (the velvety, scrumtrulescent, singularity of linguistic power that it is) ; and following the hyperlink it contained, I was sorely disappointed to find that it was just typo (so much promise, what a shame).

My sorrow however quickly faded as a realized that I was staring at none other than “The Complete Agenda Information for SMX Advanced”!

How Exciting! Yeah! Another opportunity for would-be SEO’s and other interested parties to watch the “leaders” and “top thinkers” of the Search Marketing world perform a dazzling three-ring spectacle sure to awe and delight even the most rigid spectator. (In the tradition of it’s predecessors, siblings and familiars) This event is certain to include :

IR Secrets (Information Regurgitation): Exciting hands-on workshops in which today’s top SEO’s reveal closely guarded SEO “secrets” like: Put keywords in Title tags (they must be crazy to share this stuff!).

followed promptly by:

Exclusive Networking: Watch with awe and wonder as SEO’s tell each other how clever they are, then pat each others heads and otherwise jerk each other off.

wrapping the event up with a nice game of:

Get Them Digits: This wondrous spectacle is then concluded with a mass exchange of business cards.

“Why?” You may ask, “would a professional SEO, collect so many useless contacts…”

Well In the weeks following the conference, you may find yourself in need of a good SEO circle-jerk.

Worse still; the next conference is 5 agonizing days away! What to do?

Fortunately, you got-them-digits at SMX and your competitor’s contact information is close at hand! Your fellow SEO is sure to oblige. Give a call! Hell, how about a conference call?!?!
The description above, effectively summarizes and distills ALL of the SEO, SEM, SMO, Expos, Conferences, Workshops, etc. etc. ad nauseum, for years to come. Furthermore, I have done this all for you free of charge! The Search Ninja will accept your generous tokens of gratitude in the form of exceptional backlinks, research grants and of course instruments of the silent assassin.

As some of my more astute readership may have deduced; My second tenure with Pole Position Marketing has drawn to a close. And while I was somewhat saddened to go I have left behind a lasting legacy in the form of research, infrastructure and many satisfied clients.

Short History…
My relationship with Pole Position Marketing began about 4 years ago, when I was hired to do link research for the company as its second employee. The three of us: Stoney, my good friend Brendan and myself worked out of Stoney’s home-office. At that time Pole Position Marketing was called Pole Position Web. We quickly moved into a real office space and for the next year Stoney and I worked together developing and refining the business operations, corporate image, brand identity, job roles, etc. I watched the small-time operation develop into a respectable SEO business.

GreenBUILT…
In the summer of 2005 I left PPM to pursue my own endeavors under the banner of GreenBUILT Research & Development.

Round 2…
I went back to Pole Position Marketing for a second term back in October of ‘06 when Stoney contacted me to discuss possibly working together again. After some discussion I rejoined the PPM team and was able continue and complete my work there. Last month PPM and myself parted ways once again, however this time I am able to say that I have truly completed my work there. The only regret I have is not having had more time to work with my apprentice, Rob (a.k.a. Rob “Bass” - The Right Hand with the Master Plan. ). But he will do just fine if he continues to apply the first two laws of learning Second Generation SEO:

1. - All SEO information is essentially worthless.
2. - If you want to learn SEO, don’t look to SEO resources to help you.